Day 27 - The friendliest person I knew for only one day.

once again, blank. I've never met someone that i didnt talk to later on.

Day 26 - The last person I made a pinky promise to.

Anthony Miller. Saturday night. Legit.

Day 25 - The person I know who is going through the worst of times.

i dont really know..

day 24 - the person that gave me my favorite memory

there's way too many memories. but my favorites are shared with.
kendra jones, paul mariani, ashton cloud, nic sanders, brandon welch, anthony miller, chance sherrill, steven lasswell, nate classen, my mom, evan tyler, michael kinkade, darby clark, madison glocker, and my dad.

day 23 - the last person i kissed

paul mariani :D

day 22 - someone i want to give a second chance too.

i dont give out second chances.

day 21 - someone i judged on their first impression

ashton cloud. i didnt like you at all in 7th grade, cause you always gave me dirty looks and you were rude. and i made fun of you cause you were chubby. but wtf. so i was i and i'm sure you thought the same thing about me. but i'm so glad i met you, you're a really good person and you've helped me through so much shit. i just wanna say thank you, and i love you. i can't belive we've been friends for 6 years!!!!!

day 20 - the person who broke my heart the hardest.

never had a broken heart.

day 19 - someone that pesters my mind good or bad.

paul mariani. i probably think about you way more than i should. i wish we could get along better, but i know that i'm never gonna let go no matter what. i love you way too much. you make me really happy, but then sometimes you make me really sad. probably because we both have some problems that are HELLA similar, and maybe that's why we're so perfect together. five months on the 26th. i love you.

day 18 - the person i wish i could be.

honestly, i wouldnt want to be anyone else. nobody can be like me no matter how hard you try... and i'm really proud of how far i've come. even if i dont end up being the person that everyone wants me to be, atleast i'll be happy.

day 17 - person from my childhood

Micheal Azan. nothing to say. you fucked my life up.

day 16 - someone that's not in my state/country

Stephanie Youssef & Adrian Abaquin. stephanie, you help me with all my problems, and you're so awesome. and you're a good kid, i'm seriously jealous that you're australian. cant wait to see you in a year! adrian, you's my nigga. you have the best music taste, and you're one of my good friends, can't wait to meet you. new york in less than a YEAR.

shit bro

i'm bolding everything i've done.

Graduated High School.
Kissed someone.
Smoked cigarettes.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time with out sleep.
Lied to someone.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class.
Smoked weed.
Ran a marathon.
Dealt drugs.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid).
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
Flown on a plane.
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Cut yourself.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.
Dangerously close to being in jail.
Had detention.
Skipped school.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun.
Gambled in a casino
Had a yard sale.
Had a lemonade stand.
Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to sea world.
Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Wondered about your sexuality.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed.
Had a drug or alcohol problem.
Been in a fist fight.
Suffered any form of abuse.
Had a hamster.
Petted a wild animal.
Used a credit card.
Gone surfing in California.
Did “spirit day” at school.
Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s.
Been on the Honor Roll.
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.
Taken pictures with a webcam.
Started a fire.
Gotten caught having a party while parents were gone away

day 15 - the person i miss most

see day 11.

day 14 - someone i've drifted away from

madison glocker, you used to be my best friend, and i have no freaking clue what happened. asshole! YOU BETTA READ THIS. LUV YEW.

day 13 - someone i wish would forgive me

every person i've gotten into a fight or arguement has forgiven me.

day 12 - the person i hate most/caused me a lot of pain

boyfriend. i dont hate him though. the decisions we both made, just made it seem like we didnt care and i cry all the time because i care about him more than anything in the world, he's the only thing i care about. we're both trying SO hard to stay away from certain things, we each tell each other to not talk to certain people. it sucks. i wish it didnt have to be that way. but i, i just dont know what else to say. i love that kid.

day 11 - a deceased person i wish i could talk to

billy joe kelly, i think about you all the time and how different it would be if you were here. and how happy everyone else would be. i honestly know i wouldnt have a boyfriend, it's hard to explain the feelings i had for you. when people talk about you i just cry, i know i should be happy to hear all the good memories. but it's hard. you were the nicest kid, but you were a butthole. i remember you, me and jordan would stay up until like 5 am on the phone all the time. and then you'd beg me to roll with you, and i was too scared, and then i was gonna do it cause you begged me but then i got grounded. i remember isp together and how we just sat there and moaned everyones name and then i got sent to isolation. i remember the last month, then you told me about your pill problem and how you always would overheat because you took too much. and how you told me that i should stop. i miss that so much, i know that if you were here we'd be talking so much shit about everyone at school and then go back to school and be so nice to them. you were one of my bestfriends and you were the best, i hope to see you someday. i love you, kid.

day 10 - someone i dont talk to a lot, that i would like too.

i dont talk to my old friends that much anymore (morgan forsythe, madison glocker, lindsay tschida... etc.) i guess we just drifted apart. but i really dont care, i dont see us all knowing each other when we move on with our lives and get out of highschool, and i probably dont talk to each of them for a reason. oh well, get over it. life goes on.

day 9 - someone i wish i could meet

see day 6.

day 8 - my favorite internet friend

stephanie from austrailia. i cant wait to met you one dayyyyy. you're awesome. and you help me with all of my problems. luuuuuuuuv yew.

day 7 - my ex

i honestly have nothing to say except, i fucking hate you and everything you ever did to me you piece of shit.

day 6 - a stranger

you've been my role model since i was like 10, you're probably not the best person i could've picked, but who cares? i've always thought that we're a lot a like, especially within the last few years and you seem like you're kindof lost and you dont really know who you are or what you want, but i'm probably wrong, cause i really dont know your life. i only know what i've read in magazines, and half of that isnt true. i'd really like to met you one day.

day 5 - my dreams

i dont have any dreams.

day 4 - my sibling(s)

brandi's 13 and was born with cerebral palsy, she was born 25 weeks early and weighed 1 lb. the left side of her brain is messed up and she cant walk or talk. brandi, i'm sorry for always being mean to you, and i've been working on it. it's pretty shitty how i treat you and i'm sorry. i know i tell you that everyday. my parents think i hate you, but you know i love you. i really do, you're the best sister ever.

i also have 2 half sisters named abby and anna, and soon to be a half brother. my mom needs to get her tubes tied.

aint nobody who's as good at what i do.

is it weird that i can picture my future? i see myself in two different situations. one. living in a torn up house that's falling apart, nasty wallpaper, mattress on the floor, sheets all messed up, dirty bathroom, tiny tv in the living room that barely gets reception, a torn up couch, a kitchen with a stove and broken sink, barely any food, with an abusive boyfriend. or, two. living in a nice two story house, organized, clean, with perfect kids, a perfect husband, nice car. but, you know which one i picture the most? the first one. i've always been told that i'd amount to nothing in life, maybe the people who've said that have been right all along.

day 3 - my parents

my mom's name is shawnda, she's white. just saying. she's more of a friend to me than a mom, she lets me get away with murder when her husband is gone, she knows everything i've ever done and she seems to just not care and for some reason that kinda bothers me. her and my dad got divorced in like 2005 i think? and a day later her professer at TU just moves into our house, this guys a dick. that's just all i'm going to say. i'm glad i moved out of there.
my dad's name is don, but i prefer donny. he's not the nicest person to be around and he's suuuuuuuuuuper negative about everything and angry, and sometimes i hate him, but deep down i dont. i love my dad. he let's me do pretty much whatever. and i've lived with him since october '09.

day 2 - my crush

Paul Mariani; 5 months ago, i knew what i wanted, and i knew exactly how to get it. 4 months ago, i was the happiest i've been in months. i got happy again, my parents saw it, my friends saw it - i didnt notice it until now. i was never really sure of what i wanted until now, i wasnt sure a week ago. but i am now. that counts for something right? you're the only person who knows what i've been through in my life and you're really the only person that's ever really cared. i really do love you, and the thought of losing you drives me insane, i couldnt bare it. i love you.

past, present, future.

dont you wish we could change the way we grew up? like, pick our own futures, and our own childhood. pick our friends, parents, everything. if i could go back, i would change so many things, things that shouldnt have happened to me and things that i shouldnt have done. most of these are too personal and nobody knows about them, but i'd change them, let's just leave it at that. i am completely different than how my parents wanted me to turn out, and they dont let me forget it either. i am terrified of where i'll be in 5 years. i just want to be happy.

day 1 - my best friend(s)

kendra jones and nic sanders. i dont even know how kendra and i became friends, i used to bully her all the time. i think we became friends because of ashton. but we havent even gotten in a fight yet, and we get in more trouble than anyone out there i bet. and nic, the day we sucked the helium out of 13 balloons each was the day we became best friends! i love you kids, but your relationship together is a no go.


jesus christ, ashton cloud. you probably dont consider me one of your best friends but that's okay, hahaha. i remember that i HATED you in 7th grade and then we somehow became friends. remember, when i puked on your bed and kicked you in the nose? or when i was so short that i couldnt even touch the ground from sitting down in my desk in math class? (i bet you're laughing now.) and when we went to big splash and my mom's credit card got stuck in the atm machine so i got the gum that you had in YOUR MOUTH and chewed it and stuck it on the atm machine card slot? hahahhahaha. or when donny, ash and i stole all that money from your dad. and when you, austin, and i would smoke a cigarette everytime we walked somewhere. OH. LET'S NOT FORGET YOUR VODKA AND SPRITE I DRANK. or when austin and i would met you by the corner every tuesday and we'd walk to your house and i'd get some vodka with dr. pepper and then we'd walk to tag. i'm sure there's more, but i can't think right now. no matter what, we're always gonna be friends.

not pictured - chance sherrill, nate classen, brandon welch, and anthony miller.

16925.) my name's taylor and i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when i was 12.

everybody has secrets.

lately

i've been so depressed lately, and there's not really anyone around to help me anymore. i'm home alone all the time, and i hate it. my dad's not around, and when he is, i just sit in my room and not say anything. i dont speak to my friends as much as i used to, i dont know what happened. i dont remember september - parts of march, april, may, june and july - because yet again i decided to abuse drugs, i've promised myself that i would quit a thousand times and everytime i just say "one more time" but i keep doing it again and again and again, i've had so many chances to do all these drugs, and the only reason i havent done them is because of my boyfriend. i care about him, and i promised myself i wouldnt do them anymore and i know if i do any of those things... i'll lose him, and everyone else.

summer '10.

you've been the best summer i've ever had. i've been doing whatever i wanted everyday except the days that i babysit. i've lied, i've stole, i've smoked, i've drank, i've done everything in the book pretty much. well, maybe. not everything. school starts in 17 days and i graduate in december 2011. who said i'm not good?